It’s Ok Not To Be Calm - a deeper look at stress relief and self-regulation
Why your body needs shape, not silence
There’s a difference between being calmed
and being held.
One says:
“Shhh, don’t feel too much.”
The other says:
“Here’s a shape to feel it all in.”
In somatic practice, we learn that when a system is overwhelmed,
it doesn’t need to be told to settle.
It needs support to stay present.
This is the gift of containment.
Not a shutting down
but a shaping in.
What Containment Really Is
Containment is the felt sense that there is enough structure
to meet what’s arising.
It’s not control.
It’s not suppression.
It’s not bypass.
Containment says:
“I’m here with you. You’re not alone.”
“You don’t have to hold it all by yourself.”
“You can fall apart inside this form.”
Whether it’s a prop, a boundary, a slow breath,
or the steady presence of another,
containment gives your system something to lean into.
And from there…
you can start to feel again.
Calming vs. Containing
Calming is often about changing the state.
Slowing the breath.
Down-regulating the system.
Returning to baseline.
It can be helpful.
But it’s not always what’s needed.
Containment, on the other hand, says:
“You can stay activated. I’ve got you.”
“You can move through this, not around it.”
It’s not the soft hush of peace.
It’s the steady frame of presence.
The goal is not to quiet you.
It’s to hold you
so, you can stay with what’s true.
How to Offer Containment
Here are a few ways containment can show up in your practice or your life:
• Physical containment:
Using props (like blankets or bolsters) to help the body feel gently enclosed.
• Relational containment:
A therapist or guide offering grounded presence without pushing for change.
• Energetic containment:
Using breath, boundary awareness, or visualizations to create a field around the body.
• Temporal containment:
Setting time limits for how long you’ll explore something, so it doesn’t overwhelm.
Containment says:
“You don’t have to process it all now.”
“You don’t have to collapse into it.”
“You get to feel this… inside a frame.”
The Invitation
Beautiful one,
If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by your own experience.
If you’ve tried to calm yourself and only felt more afraid.
You might not need less feeling.
You might just need more shape.
A hand to hold.
A wall to lean against.
A breath that says: “Stay. You’re safe.”
Containment is not a cage.
It’s a cradle.
And you get to be held.
Guided Practice: The Shape That Says “I’ve Got You”
A somatic practice to feel held, not hushed
Before you press play—
take a moment.
Feel into the part of you that doesn’t want to be calmed.
The part that doesn’t need to be told to settle down,
but is aching to be met.
This guided practice isn’t about fixing or soothing.
It’s about creating a shape that your body can trust.
A shape that says:
“I’m here.”
“I’m staying.”
“I’ve got you.”
You’ll be invited to follow your body’s impulse,
to curl, to hold, to lean, to breathe,
until you find a position that doesn’t just contain you,
but becomes the compassion you’ve been seeking.
All is welcome here.
You don’t have to be calm.
You just have to come as you are.
Click here to begin the somatic practice.
a few minutes. No pressure. Just presence.
Let this be a moment where shape holds what words cannot.
